“Sometimes, bad is bad…”

…but not always.

Several weeks ago, I awoke in such pain that even I had to acknowledge I wasn’t going to be able to make it in for the, oh, half-dozen or so appointments and commitments I had that day. I wrote an email to (well, I don’t know for sure “who”; I wasn’t able to see the keyboard or screen, couldn’t bend my neck) whomever, coming out with the C-bomb (no, I don’t mean a swear word, unless “cancer” is in that category; maybe it should be) and saying that although I had good days, and even great days, that day was a bad day, and I could not make it in.

Today is akin to that day. As I struggled to rise, however, I realized that labeling the day as “bad” was (a) not helpful to my healing, and (b) simply not true. In fact, “any day you wake up and you’re not six feet under is a good day,” as the Irish say. “Bad” is in the mind of the day-holder.

For one thing, I know that part of the reason I’m in pain today is because I went to a play last night (but is that really a bad thing?). Lise (aka Little Voice) and I went to see Taming of the Shrew. It was fantastic — especially because the director agreed with my reading of the play as being about domestic violence and bullying.

I know what domestic violence is, as I experienced it myself, in Ireland. Kudos to the Irish police and jurisprudence system: they back the victim. Had I gone through it in the States, I would not have been supported like I was. Someday I will write more about this experience, and the woeful inadequacy of the U.S. system to deal with it — I believe part of it has to do with that “appearance thing I talked about yesterday — but not today.

My point is this: it’s all about perception. Domestic violence is bad, right? There is no other way to look at it? Or is there? Perhaps the acts themselves are wrong, are bad, but the results of them need not be. I changed my life because of what happened. I got much-needed counseling from a fantastic woman (thank you, Trish), who in turn found the courage to start her own full-time practice, leaving the very company whose generous benefits package afforded me the opportunity to see Trish in the first place. I discovered Deepak Chopra’s profound Seven Laws of Spiritual Success at this time; I started writing again; I quit smoking; I bought a house, then a car. My friends proved brave and true, always on the lookout (I was being stalked by this jilted monster), yet always with a laugh for me. So, is a situation wholly bad when such good can come from it?

As for today, then, let me just say that I’m not feeling well, but it’s a great day. Yes, indeed it is. I’m still here, and so are you.

[P.S. Huey Lewis is the author of the quote in the title to this blog. I used to love Huey Lewis and the News!]

  1 comment for ““Sometimes, bad is bad…”

  1. pixiecola
    May 1, 2010 at 22:31

    i agree with your assessment that things that may seem “bad” can be looked at in whatever light you choose. but in defense of the american system regarding domestic violence, colorado was ON THAT. i know that states differ, but i’m just sayin’ they are not all woefully inadequate 🙂 i learned the lesson just in this past year that holding on to negative feelings (even if 99% of the population would agree with you that what happened was screwed up) just poisons you and doesn’t punish the object of your grudge.

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