There have been times in my life where Stevie Smith’s “Not Waving, But Drowning” would have been more accurate, but I’m happy to say it does not describe my life at present.
I realize my blogging voice has been silent for a week now, but I shall not apologize. Why? Because it has been such a splendid week. Because my silence is due to feeling better than I have in years. Because I’ve had a romantic encounter. Because I’m preparing the paperwork for — wait for it! — social security disability, as well as for the upcoming term at PSU. Because I found out I’m going to help teach a Medieval lit course. Because I have a lot of Middle English to study, but that turns me on. Because I’ve done the work on such mundane things as “I need 8 hours of sleep a night,” and they’ve changed my life, freed me up. Because I get to see a naturopath tomorrow, and have lab tests this week, which will confirm-or-deny what I feel to be true: that I am healing.
Because I feel supported by you, and by the Universe. Correction: I feel the support you’re giving, I really do. (That’s different than feeling supported.)
Because I’ve realized that what I have is what I want, or I wouldn’t have it. And if I don’t like it, I’d better get busy and create a new reality for myself. For since I’ve welcomed my Thought Families into my consciousness, I’ve noticed they just sort of wave, smile, and then move on. All these years, they just wanted acknowledgement! They weren’t looking to take up my whole life, just a few minutes of it.
Which is why I wrote my blog today. For you.
I’m just waving, not drowning.