Lighthearted Nonsense on Growing Old(er)

In the mirror this morning, I noted with dismay a fresh crop of red rash on my nose. While today it may match my t-shirt, most days it doesn’t. Besides, I am rather sick of looking like Rudolph’s twin.

“Un-ex-plained rash,” said I to myself. For some reason it reminded me of the song “My Favorite Things.” Verses popped into my head. I reached for pen and paper and wrote this down.

Not my usual standard, I know, but maybe it will bring a smile to your face. It did mine. (If you’re in public reading this, don’t forget to put in your teeth first.)

[Sing with gusto to the tune mentioned above.]

Big boobs on old men and whiskers on women;
Leaky old bladders and straining for BMs;
Brown paper packages full of blue pills:
These are a few of an old person’s ills.

Lesions on noses and unexplained rashes;
Gums that are bleeding and Coke-bottle glasses;
Hitting the Walgreen’s for Senior Day deals:
They’ve got a few of our favorite pills!

When a pad leaks,
When a hip breaks,
or the food is bland–
We simply delight in the fact we’re still here,
and then we don’t feel…so…bad!

Onward and upward, dear Ones.
(From the not-so-old lady in DeKalb)