It nearly always happens after I’ve given up. My pot of coffee is down to its last cold sips (like myself, no matter how I bundle it up, the carafe goes cold rapidly), yet another morning’s ritual has been denied.
Perhaps it would be fairer to say that I have replaced my cherished coffee-and-crosswords routine with one where I walk back and forth to the tiny portable modem stuck in one of the two Arctic-like rooms in which it works. If I’m not trying to place the modem where it’s happy, I’m cajoling my computer or massaging it gently, my finger on the mouse pad, trying to get it to relax and just link up, already. When kindness doesn’t work (and it often doesn’t), I hurl epithets; that never works, either. Most mornings I switch between my ancient MacBook and my ailing Acer. I try Firefox. I try Safari. In desperation one day, I must confess, I used INTERNET EXPLORER!! God help me…
Maybe IT — the Great Server — just wants to see me write, as I’m doing now? Engrossed in my task, I just glanced up to see the elusive Guardian Cryptic puzzle I’ve been trying to nab for three days. There it is! On the screen at last! Afraid to breathe, I hit ‘Print.’ OMG, it prints.
Of course, I’ve no more coffee suitable to drink now. Shall I go wild and make a fresh pot? [‘Do I dare to eat a peach?’] Feeling very bold indeed, I opt to try to print a SECOND puzzle, daring the Server to bestow an extra blessing; an extra miracle. First, though, I want to get this all down for my Broc blog. I’m having epiphanies here, so no time to waste.
I realise that I am the Cryptic Guardian’s servant, am I not? The Server has become the Served. The Server has no power; it is illusory. Nowadays, there isn’t even a ‘man behind the curtain’! I have given it power — my power, in fact — the power to control my life. And it doesn’t even register.
Ah. I just looked up at the screen. “Safari can’t open the page,” I’m told. Can’t or WON’T, I say to myself. I read on. “The server unexpectedly dropped the connection.” Indeed! Greedy little so-and-so. Simply must have attention all the time, eh? [Jen: MUST STOP TALKING TO SELF!]
The truth hits me: Yes. True. The server is not, for all my slavish attention to it, capable of anything but distracting me from Life, from the Reality I say I prize above all else. It needs nothing. I’M the one who needs attention!
I wonder…if I try to open Broccoli4Breakfast, will it open? It’s not a site for selling anything but my soapbox ideas, and there are no puzzling graphics to slow things down.
I try it. I’ve almost forgotten my password, but it comes to me. Hit ‘Enter’…lo and behold, it works! I hesitate, because I really wanted to put my New Year’s Day blog in first. But it’s not right in front of me, this blog is. Pay attention to what’s in front of me, that’s the ticket.
Et voila — you’re reading it.